The Gift

For today’s post I wanted to share this beautifully written experience by a client of mine, Cindi. Thank you Cindi for sharing with me and allowing me to share with others.

During a recent session with Lacey, I mentioned that there was a situation from my past that I didn’t want to talk about, but that I knew was still affecting me.  I had been trying not to think about the situation, because I was afraid of getting sucked back into anger and hurt.  However, I had been feeling stuck in parts of my life, and I knew that I was still holding harmful feelings and beliefs because of this incident, and it was something I needed to clear out of my energy before I could move forward.  After discussing it, Lacey gave me a homework assignment that involved feeling the anger and pain I felt toward those who had hurt me, and not just in this particular situation, but throughout my entire life.  I wasn’t certain I wanted to do the assignment, because there were parts of that negativity that still served me in some ways, and that allowed me to stay stuck and not have to take the scary actions of forgiving and moving forward.

However, the parts of me that wanted to heal were stronger than the frightened parts, so I did as she suggested.  I sat with the anger, the hurt, and the frustration, and I allowed myself to really feel these emotions rather than push them aside.  After that, Lacey told me to visualize gathering all those feelings and thoughts into some kind of object, and then to get rid of it.  After allowing myself to fully experience these powerful negative emotions, I imagined that I bound them all up into a ball, and I kicked it high into the sky.  I figured that was going to be the end of the exercise, but to my surprise, the ball soared higher than I ever imagined possible.  As it flew over the oceans, it entered the atmosphere, and it lit up like a shooting star as the pain and hatred were transmuted into light and beauty.  All over the world, people stopped whatever they were doing and gasped in awe at the gorgeous orb of light that passed above them.  They called their loved ones, pulled their sleepy children out of bed, and held each other in amazement as the ball of light graced the night sky above them.  Finally it began to disintegrate and curve back toward the Earth.  The ball landed, and it was now only a charred, smoking lump.  Children raced to it, eager to glimpse the remains of something so lovely.

In my mind, I could see the scene, and I begged the children not to touch the ball that had once contained all my anger, rage, jealousy, and sadness, in case any of those painful emotions remained, yet they could not hear me across the oceans.  One girl reached out to touch the object, but it sparked and she drew her hand back.  Finally as it cooled enough to be touched, a small but brave boy reached out and picked it up.  It fit into the palm of his hand, like a charred but glittering piece of coal.  As he gazed at it in awe, his mother murmured, “How beautiful!  You’re so lucky.  What a gift!”  As he admired this treasure, a jealous rage came over a larger boy in the crowd, and he ran at the child and grabbed the object out of his hand.  As the smaller boy fell, his face glanced off a sharp rock, giving him cuts so deep they would scar.  As his mother screamed and the bystanders called for help, the boy’s grandmother calmly gazed upon the boy’s wounds.  Frightened, the boy asked, “Grammy, how bad is it?  Will I ever be handsome?  Will the kids make fun of me at school?”  The old woman, who had seen the cycles of pain and sadness and the wisdom they brought, simply touched his face and answered, “How beautiful.  You’re so lucky.  What a gift.”

At first I was horrified that this child had been wounded as a result of wanting something that held the remains of my anger, fear, and hatred.  Then I remembered that those emotions had been transmuted into light, love, and beauty as I released the ball and sent it sailing through the night sky.  What I realized from this experience is that when we’re caught up in our emotions and thoughts, it’s hard to believe that the pain in our lives can actually be a blessing.  Without the events that have scarred us emotionally or physically, we would never have the motivation to heal, grow, and add our light to the world.  If we can find the gifts within our pain, it can become a marvel that awakens others to beauty and love, and helps them to see things from new perspectives.  With the right blend of wisdom, guidance, and energy work, such as Lacey offers, we can speed up the healing process.  And the next time a gift disguised as a burnt ember lands near us, we can see it for what it truly is–an unexpected path to wholeness and Light.

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