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Afraid of being your best?

Have you ever felt afraid of being your best?

Have you ever hid from truth? Hid from your talents and gifts?

I have. In fact I have been doing that very thing the past few months.

I dont know how to say this other than I have betrayed my authentic self. I have steered away from the things that light me up. I haven’t been coming from a heart place but more of a mental place.

I apologize, I apologize to you and to myself for not staying true.

Earlier this year I came face to face with some of the hardest challenges I have ever experienced.

I felt my world go dark.

Everything I thought I knew, every belief I built my life on came into question and my world went dark.

For months, I couldn’t see through the darkness. I couldn’t see my way out. I couldn’t see the light.

That was the most scared I have ever felt.

I thought to survive I needed to steer clear of any and all things spiritual , it hurt too bad, until I found my way again. Until I could see truth.

I dabbled in this thing and that thing, teaching more and more about mindset and habits, considered quitting all together and doing real estate with my husband. I even went back to my old roots of physical fitness and threw out an idea for a 12 week program focusing on body, nutrition and exercise.

I tried everything to stay away from connecting back with spirit and truth.

Guess how that has worked out for me? Not so well 😉

My passion, my gifts, my talents, although I am a lover of fitness, lie in the more spiritual nature of our beings.

Being connected to your higher self. Aligning energy to assist and support you in living your authentic self, your soul purpose. And most importantly simplifying life, struggles, challenges and bringing it all back to LOVE, bringing you back to a place of LOVE.

THIS IS MY SOUL PURPOSE.

I remember now. I recommit now.

I ask for your forgiveness as I have recently not served you all from my heart space.

As I continue on this journey in coming back to LOVE I hope you will join me, walk with me and share the joys of Your journey with me.

I Love my tribe, thank you for being you and shining your brilliance in the world!

Love,
Lacey

Set yourself up for success

Summer is officially over at our house. School is back in full swing and our daughter’s high school volleyball season is upon us.

I love the routine of school starting. I don’t love the busy-ness it ensures with 3 kids in school and sports and two involved, active, working parents. You can imagine that there arent many nights or hours that are left open without something occupying them.

That being said, it’s a really good kind of busy, I wouldn’t have it any other way then to watch my kids do their thing in sports and excel in school. To, set by example, the importance of maintaining a healthy active lifestyle and caring for my body.

Eating well and balanced is key to fueling your body to keep up with all the demands placed on it throughout the day(s).

I know, from many conversations, that our family is not the only one who experiences this sort of busy-ness and struggle to find the time to do anything outside the list of have tos.

Often times, even for our family, this results in quick, less healthy dinner and snack options.

A few things that seem to work for helping me be successful in staying on track are:

Plan 

Knowing ahead of time our week’s schedule and which nights I will have time to cook what is key to my success. Let’s face it, some nights it just ain’t gonna happen. However, if I know that ahead of time I can use some pre-cooked or prepped food or leftovers to create a simple grab and go meal.

For me, the only way we will avoid cold cereal and fast food dinners more nights than not is to know my week, be realistic about my time and have a plan. I like to plan out what I can realistically do each day and create a healthy balance of options.

Prepare

Once I know my schedule and meal plan I can prepare. I like to prepare some of the items ahead of time for those nights there just isn’t time.

Sometimes this means cooking a crockpot of chicken, more than what is needed for that nights meal and having the rest on hand for quick grabs. Sometimes it means pre chopping or preparing veggies or cooking up some rice. Let it be easy and simple. Don’t overthink it.

Be flexible.

Even the best of intentions and plans won’t guarantee my success if I am not willing to be flexible and adjust things accordingly. When that booster club meeting lasted longer than it was supposed to, when a practice runs long or when things were much busier with work than I had planned on.

I have learned to be flexible without judgment and it has saved me more than once. There is nothing wrong with picking up a pre-packaged salad or pre-cut veggies. Let the judgment go around ‘cheating’ so it’s not as ‘home-made’. (eye-roll)

Do a few simple things that will set you up for success and when you have a ‘failure’ night wash your hands and move on to another day.

There is no failure until you stop trying.

How do you celebrate?

How do you celebrate your successes, or do you?

I started, along with my gratitude experiment, in January to list and own my successes on a regular basis and it has completely changed how I feel about myself. I am more loving, more patient and more kind to myself.

I began this 8 week challenge about 3 weeks ago. A challenge to up level the way I care for and treat my body. Fueling it with more fruits, veggies and water. I Love a good challenge.

I used to hate to participate in anything I didn’t know I could win or at least do really well at. I hate to lose! Haha

I have come to enjoy the journey a little more and feel happier throughout the whole ride. This is in big part due to owning my success, recognizing what I am doing well at and adjusting the areas where I would like to improve.

Throughout the challenge I have seen both people being kind and patient with themselves and others who have beaten themselves down for not being ‘perfect’.

How do you own your success? Do you make it part of your daily practice to recognize both the small and big things you are doing well at.

Sometimes success even comes in the form of getting a shower today 😉

My challenge to you is for the next 30 days acknowledge EVERY day at least 1-3 successes.  They don’t have to be from that day specifically, but acknowledge them, search for them and OWN them.

I would love to hear how this process goes for you and help celebrate your successes with you. You can email me and share or share on my facebook page.

You are AMAZING, start acting like it!

The Gift

For today’s post I wanted to share this beautifully written experience by a client of mine, Cindi. Thank you Cindi for sharing with me and allowing me to share with others.

During a recent session with Lacey, I mentioned that there was a situation from my past that I didn’t want to talk about, but that I knew was still affecting me.  I had been trying not to think about the situation, because I was afraid of getting sucked back into anger and hurt.  However, I had been feeling stuck in parts of my life, and I knew that I was still holding harmful feelings and beliefs because of this incident, and it was something I needed to clear out of my energy before I could move forward.  After discussing it, Lacey gave me a homework assignment that involved feeling the anger and pain I felt toward those who had hurt me, and not just in this particular situation, but throughout my entire life.  I wasn’t certain I wanted to do the assignment, because there were parts of that negativity that still served me in some ways, and that allowed me to stay stuck and not have to take the scary actions of forgiving and moving forward.

However, the parts of me that wanted to heal were stronger than the frightened parts, so I did as she suggested.  I sat with the anger, the hurt, and the frustration, and I allowed myself to really feel these emotions rather than push them aside.  After that, Lacey told me to visualize gathering all those feelings and thoughts into some kind of object, and then to get rid of it.  After allowing myself to fully experience these powerful negative emotions, I imagined that I bound them all up into a ball, and I kicked it high into the sky.  I figured that was going to be the end of the exercise, but to my surprise, the ball soared higher than I ever imagined possible.  As it flew over the oceans, it entered the atmosphere, and it lit up like a shooting star as the pain and hatred were transmuted into light and beauty.  All over the world, people stopped whatever they were doing and gasped in awe at the gorgeous orb of light that passed above them.  They called their loved ones, pulled their sleepy children out of bed, and held each other in amazement as the ball of light graced the night sky above them.  Finally it began to disintegrate and curve back toward the Earth.  The ball landed, and it was now only a charred, smoking lump.  Children raced to it, eager to glimpse the remains of something so lovely.

In my mind, I could see the scene, and I begged the children not to touch the ball that had once contained all my anger, rage, jealousy, and sadness, in case any of those painful emotions remained, yet they could not hear me across the oceans.  One girl reached out to touch the object, but it sparked and she drew her hand back.  Finally as it cooled enough to be touched, a small but brave boy reached out and picked it up.  It fit into the palm of his hand, like a charred but glittering piece of coal.  As he gazed at it in awe, his mother murmured, “How beautiful!  You’re so lucky.  What a gift!”  As he admired this treasure, a jealous rage came over a larger boy in the crowd, and he ran at the child and grabbed the object out of his hand.  As the smaller boy fell, his face glanced off a sharp rock, giving him cuts so deep they would scar.  As his mother screamed and the bystanders called for help, the boy’s grandmother calmly gazed upon the boy’s wounds.  Frightened, the boy asked, “Grammy, how bad is it?  Will I ever be handsome?  Will the kids make fun of me at school?”  The old woman, who had seen the cycles of pain and sadness and the wisdom they brought, simply touched his face and answered, “How beautiful.  You’re so lucky.  What a gift.”

At first I was horrified that this child had been wounded as a result of wanting something that held the remains of my anger, fear, and hatred.  Then I remembered that those emotions had been transmuted into light, love, and beauty as I released the ball and sent it sailing through the night sky.  What I realized from this experience is that when we’re caught up in our emotions and thoughts, it’s hard to believe that the pain in our lives can actually be a blessing.  Without the events that have scarred us emotionally or physically, we would never have the motivation to heal, grow, and add our light to the world.  If we can find the gifts within our pain, it can become a marvel that awakens others to beauty and love, and helps them to see things from new perspectives.  With the right blend of wisdom, guidance, and energy work, such as Lacey offers, we can speed up the healing process.  And the next time a gift disguised as a burnt ember lands near us, we can see it for what it truly is–an unexpected path to wholeness and Light.

Do you live in congruency?

What is congruency?  The definition is “agreement or harmony; compatibility”.

According to Brendon Burchard in regards to living in congruency he says this How we think of ourselves (our self image) and how we behave in accordance with that image in the real world is the stuff of congruence.

If we live small, hiding and not allowing our light to shine, yet our soul knows we are more brilliant than what we allow to be seen, more creative intelligent and capable it creates an incongruence within.

Most people often deny their best self by acting smaller and less than they are or behaving contradictory to the type of person they believe they are.

If you believe you are a kind, patient person yet continually lose your patience and say unkind things that is not living congruent.

If you think you have talent and potential and are capable of success yet you say no to opportunities that come your way and never stretch yourself that is not living congruent.

How do you counter this natural tendency to think one thing and behave differently?

One suggestion that Brenden gives in his book “The Charge” is to “think more of yourself, and demand that your actions be congruent with the best of who you are and who you can be.”

Its impossible to live congruent with something that you havent ever defined. That would be like me giving you a pen and asking you to draw a square when you have never learned your shapes.

The first step to living congruently with yourself is to define exactly who you are.

Start by making a list of all the traits or qualities you have and then add to that list the traits and qualities you would like to have. This will help you start to define yourself. Be careful not to right down qualities or traits you feel are expected of you and instead make sure they are ones you resonate with.

Define who you are, Act as if you are that person already and then you Become that person.

Choose today you are going to live congruent with the you you defined no matter what comes your way!

Find the Gift

Have you heard that before, ‘Find the Gift’ or “Everything happens for a reason and that reason is to assist me”.

That call to action can rub a person the wrong way depending on what you may currently be going through.

I have recently had some serious deep healing coming up related to my childhood sexual abuse. It’s taken me to a dark place at times.

Hearing Find the Gift! has made me want to scream and throw things, like a little child, at times. There is NO EFFIN GIFT! This is where my mind took me not too long ago.

Sure, I can be more empathetic to others, I can have more compassion, blah blah blah. This doesn’t sound like a gift worth the pain, at least not in the moment the betrayal, anger and pain are so choking me.

I know my Aunt has felt very burdened by finding the gift or blessing in her husband and best friend being suddenly taken from her from a massive heart attack. “Where’s the gift in that?”

There is one thing I know to be true. Everything DOES happen for a reason and that reason IS to support me, whether I like it or not.

If I go back to my abuse and really identify with it I can find the gift, the blessing if I am ready to let go of my anger and rage.

The gift is that I was a victim (not many situations have real victims).

Why or how does being a victim translate into a blessing, you may wonder?

Through being a victim I have so much more clarity on the opposite which is living an Empowered Life. I have been blessed to learn what that truly means and how to not only get it but live it.

This is something not many people really do, live Empowered. I only am because I have been forced to identify with that in order to get out of being a victim. THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE. Trust me it’s easier, although not as fulfilling and happy, to just stay the victim of life.

There are times I want to throw my head against the wall and tap out, I’m done, it’s not worth it. I have recently been in one of these places. BUT I have come too far to turn back now.

I made a decision I AM WORTH IT, I am worth fighting for and I am worth showing up for, I am worth going through the hard times, the pain. And I WILL put on my shoes every day and go to work for myself and the life I want.

So, let me ask you this question “WHERE IS THE GIFT?”.

Are you willing to let go of your judgments, anger and pain to find it yet?

Next week, I will talk about why finding the gift is so important and key to your healing.

The meaning of life. What is it?

I recently got the news that my Uncle Quentin had passed away, very suddenly and very quickly.

This left me in a state of shock.

The next morning I got up and did my workout, my normal morning things and then sat down to do some journaling and reflection with this news having come late the night before.

As I began to journal, the words just flowed onto my paper. The words of LOVE.

I believe that LOVE is the real purpose of this life. To learn how to freely give and receive it, in its purest form. Love without condition or judgment.

I think we, myself included, often put too much focus on things that seem rather important here and now but really are not of significance.

The only thing that matters is LOVE. The only thing that really has the power to change anything or anyone is Love.

We often go through each day as if there will always be another one. As if the anger we feel toward someone will always have time to be resolved. We stress over a situation that we feel is super important or feel justified in our judgments because we have been wronged.

What if we are actually here to learn just one thing, love.

To learn to love unconditionally, without any need for anything in return. To love freely and to receive it back ten fold?

What if the purpose of this life has nothing to do with how successful you can be, how much wealth you attain or what kind of influence you have on others and more to do with learning to love?

Would that change how you did things, how you felt and lived?

I believe it would change every aspect of our lives. Our relationships, how we ran our businesses, how we viewed our struggles, everything, absolutely everything.

So for today, if only you can today. Focus on love.

Love without reservation, send love to everyone and everything you see. Love your situation, for exactly what it is now. Love your trials, your blessings, your relationships, your job, yourself.  Then open your heart to receive love back and see what can shift in just one day.

I send love to each of you today!

If you had no FEAR

I talk to a lot of people….a LOT of people.

Do you know the one thing I hear more frequently than anything else?

The F word…….FEAR

Fear of making wrong decision, Fear of failure, Fear of Success, Fear of being alone, Fear of other people’s judgments and on and on……

Why do we live in such fear?

Or maybe the real question is why do we allow those fears to control us, dictate what we do and don’t do, run our lives?

Lets be honest, we ALL have fears, we do. Why do some allow them to run their lives and others don’t?

I will tell you why.

The people that are allowing fear to have control havent challenged or questioned their fears.

Our society, in general, has somehow decided that if you fear something there is good reason and you should run as far away from it as you can. Fear = Bad

WRONG!!

Fear is a privilege. Fear provides the most amazing opportunity to growth.

Imagine waking up tomorrow and you were FearLESS. What changes?

EVERYTHING changes.

Everything you want is on the other side of your fear but most people won’t take the risk because of their fear of failure.

Failure is not ‘failure’…’Failure is simply producing a result. ‘Failure only exists when we give that result a meaning about who we are.” -Mastin Kipp

Take that part out and let failure just be a result and it changes everything.

Good leaders go to where the fear is and embrace it -Kerwin Rae

Fear is needed, fear is what prepares you for greatness.

Imagine one of your greatest fears is climbing an incredibly high mountain.

Imagine facing your fear and deciding to do it anyway. Every step up that mountain your heart raced, you told yourself “just don’t look down” and you went step by step. You got to the top of that mountain, how do you feel? AMAZING, POWERFUL, INSPIRED AND UNSTOPPABLE.

Now, imagine your fear was taken from you and you had ABSOLUTELY NO FEAR about climbing this same mountain. What would the journey be like? What would there be to celebrate once you reached to the top? Would you feel those same feelings?

FEAR prepares you for greatness!

So, what would you do if you had no fear? Rather than try to wish away the fear, embrace it.

What is on the other side of the fear is what really matters.

Does gratitude really matter?

You all know and have heard you should be grateful for what you have. This is nothing new.

It is easy to find gratitude when life is going good, things are as we want them or we are at least not in the midst of a crisis. It can also be easy to find gratitude when things seem to be turned upside down, at least if we are using the Law of Relativity correctly it can be.

What about those times when things are neither great or terrible. When life seems to be on auto-pilot.

I find that this is when most people fall off the gratitude band wagon, when there isn’t an intentional effort to focus on what IS working and the abundant blessings all around them. People sort of just coast through this time waiting for the next high or low.

What if I told you that by intentionally connecting to gratitude and making it a focus, even and especially during the auto pilot days your highs and lows can flow easier?

It’s true. I recently heard that gratitude is the equalizer. Although we know, through the Law of Rhythm, there must be ups and downs. Gratitude has the power to make these highs and lows flow more smoothly.

Picture one of those machines that measures heart rate. You see those extreme ups and downs, they are sharp and drastic. This depicts how life feels and it becomes easy to live in constant anticipation of the next high or low.

Living in the frequency of gratitude is the way to make those sharp and drastic ups and downs softer and less dramatic. You also begin to look forward to this natural rhythm, knowing it is necessary.

Feeling gratitude, even in your lowest, is power.

Understanding the Law of Rhythm will help you connect to more gratitude in every moment. Knowing when you swing left you must next swing right and when you are in down you must go up.

Find gratitude and blessings in the minutia of each day, in the boring, in the simple and watch how it opens you up to receive more.

Happy Groundhog Day!

For anyone who’s seen the 1993 movie, GROUNDHOG DAY, you will remember that Phil Connors (Bill Murray) is stuck repeating the same miserable day over and over and over.  Phil is a self-centered weatherman from Pittsburgh who dreads going to the small Pennsylvania town of Punxsutawney every year on February 2nd to cover the forecast of the famous, weather-predicting groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil.  Phil hates everything about Punxsutawney–the small town, the people, their enthusiasm for the ridiculous holiday, and he is rude, mean, judgmental, and treats people terribly.  He can’t wait to leave and get back to the city.  To Phil’s dismay, he wakes up the day after Groundhog Day and discovers he must relive that same awful day over and over.  He tries everything he can to escape, but he’s still stuck in a day that he hates.  He becomes angry and depressed and forecasts the weather as, “It’s going to be cold and grey, and it’s going to last you for the rest of your life.”  His misery increases, and while drowning his sorrows in a bar, he asks two guys, “What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was the same and nothing you did mattered?”

The beautiful thing about this movie is that at its heart, it is a metaphor for how many of us feel–stuck living day after day in lives that we find miserable, and no matter how hard we try or what we do, we feel unable to make any significant changes.  We may not be stuck in Punxsutawney on Groundhog Day, but we may be held captive by our fears, feelings of powerlessness, shame, beliefs passed down through generations, or many other limiting habitual thought patterns that we aren’t even aware that we hold.  Eventually Phil realizes the only way he can change his experience of Groundhog Day is to change himself.  It takes effort, but he becomes kind, positive, loving, and grateful, and only once he has changed, does time begin to move forward for him again.  Before that, Phil tells his producer, Rita, his predicament, and she replies, “Maybe it’s not a curse.  Maybe it’s just how you look at it.”  We, too, can learn to change our thoughts, our perspectives, our past stories, and then we can step into the future, living lives we love.

At the very end of the movie, Phil has changed so dramatically that he looks out at the town of Punxsutawney and says to Rita, “It’s so beautiful!  Let’s live here!”  It’s estimated that Phil Connors relived Groundhog Day for ten years before he was able to finally shift and make the necessary changes.  However, there’s no reason for us to suffer that long.  If you are serious about making changes that will awaken you to the beauty, power, and magic of your own life, contact me and we can create a plan to free you from your own self-imposed version of Groundhog Day.